When Words Aren’t Enough

It seems like lately, I’ve had phone calls weekly and sometimes daily from people telling me troubling news about them, or their family and friends. About a month ago a young friend died suddenly, leaving behind a wife and two small children. He was fine that morning, and then a heart attack claimed his life by noon. What do you say when you know that nothing you do or say will make the hurt and pain go away from their hearts?

A few weeks ago, another friend called to tell me her grandmother had just had a massive stroke. She lives on her grandmother’s land, and helps her out with everything. She was devastated. Then she delivers the news a week later that her family wants to put her grandmother in a nursing facility and sell the land… the same land that she lives on. Where will she live? Oh, and by the way, she was laid off from work two weeks before all of this happened. Then just this week, I get a call from her delivering more bad news. Her mother’s cancer is back and it has spread. She’ll be undergoing extensive treatments for 8 weeks 12 hours from home. I thought for a moment, and simply said, “I know this doesn’t make anything better, but I’m sorry.”

I know others who are losing jobs, losing houses, losing babies, suffering from a culmination of illnesses that no doctor can help, struggling their way through chemo and radiation treatments, trying to provide for themselves while helping family members out too, and the list just goes on.

What can we say or do that will make it better?

There’s no point in even mentioning any petty problems that I’ve got going on. Plus, those who are in really tough situations don’t like to hear you comparing your situation to theirs. Telling someone to “buck up”, or “deal with it” isn’t really the most compassionate way to handle it either.
Sometimes I feel helpless just hearing about it. However, the problems of others aren’t something we just need to dismiss. Romans 12:15 tells us to “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.” We need to show those who suffer that we are there for them. We can write cards, call to check on them, take food to the hospital for those who are there around the clock, help with yard work , or carpool, but mostly… not the very least, but the very MOST we can do for them is pray. The Bible tells us that even when our words are inadequate at best, the Holy Spirit intercedes for us on our behalf. Romans 8:26 -28 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

So, thankfully, when actions and our words aren’t enough, God knows our hearts, and He uses us to be a help and strength to the weak and weary… even if to us it doesn’t seem like we’re doing much of anything. Cherish every moment you have with family and friends because you never know what the future holds.